Well, it is getting to be that time of year again when people will start wearing their “purple ribbon” for Domestic Violence Awareness.  The month for this is October, although we should be aware of this all of the time, not only in October.  I will add though  I am happy that this is being recognized, for way to long , “back in the day” some would say, this type of behavior was dismissed and the abusers got away with (in my own opinion) too much abuse! (Once is too much for me!)

Most often when you read or hear of cases of domestic violence the first thing that comes to mind is physical abuse, in many cases I am sure this is, but in some however this is not the case.  Domestic violence takes many forms, and if you were to ask me one of the ugliest forms is “emotional / mental abuse”.

I am not a professional in this field by any means, and it is not my intent to give anyone advice. I can, and will however, share with you something I have kept private for sometime now, but do feel it is the right time to share, my experience with domestic violence.  I truly believe if my story can help make a difference in one persons life, then it is worth sharing.

I have been through domestic violence; of course the abuser would never call it this as he thought different.  My abuser did more emotional / mental abuse than physical, however, there was some physical.  For years I stayed with my abuser thinking that life was not much better on my own, how was I going to make ends meet, how would I support my children and myself, how would I live?!

Of course the domestic violence didn't happen over night, it happened over a course of a few years, gradually…very gradually.  First it started with those little comments “oh don’t be stupid” or “That was dumb of you”, then gradually it got worse.  “You don’t know anything”...”What did you do all day sit on your fat ass”…”No one cares what you say” It got to the point over the years that I had no self esteem left.  I felt terrible about myself, what would one expect after years of being called “stupid, dumb, idiot, useless”.  These words hurt; they hurt worse than the shove in the wall or the slap in the head. They hurt worse than the lies.

Words are very powerful and this is how my abuser took control of me.  He took control of the way I thought, he took control of the way I acted, and he took control of my health.  By staying in the “unhealthy” relationship took a toll on my physical well being.  I started getting anxiety attacks, almost every day I would have an anxiety attack, the heart palpitations came and only got worse, and eventually I was put on heart medication just to control them.  I would go to the emergency room in the beginning because at first I thought I was having heart attacks and nervous breakdowns and I wasn’t, it was all anxiety from everything that I was going through over the years of being in an abusive relationship.  On one of my last visits to the ER the doctor told me I needed to examine my life and find the source of what was causing the anxiety.  I knew the source, and I think the doctor did too, although he could never tell me what the source was, I knew he knew.  That’s what I did, I went home and confronted the source and was told that I was a “liar”.

The home life didn't’t get any better after that.  I had now begun to “hate” my abuser.  I hated everything about him and wanted nothing to do with him.  I was sick of being called the names and sick of being tormented and sick of being afraid to go out by myself and I was sick of staying in a very unhealthy relationship for the sake of my children.  This was not the way it was supposed to be!  I was supposed to be the best mom ever and I couldn't’t be because I was a worthless piece of trash that didn't deserve the time of day, to anyone!  Yes, this is how I felt; this is what I was conditioned to feel over the years.  See, my abuser took complete control of my life.  I lost all control.  My abuser made me believe I couldn't’t leave that I would never be able to make it without him.  Until one day.

I don’t think a person would ever believe that being hit is a good thing, but on this one day I did.  That was it for me.  I was hit and shoved around and as I like to say “ this was the first day of the last day.”  It was my turning point!  
 
To conclude this story I will say this. When I freed myself from my abuser it was the best feeling in the world.  My anxiety attacks eventually ceased and I went off the heart medication.  I am not going to say that it was easy, because it wasn’t.  I struggled for years to make ends meet, but you know what?  I did it, and I did it without my abuser.  He said I couldn't but I did, and even though it was a struggle financially through some years, emotionally they were the best years because I was now free!  Free from the control and fear.  I gradually started getting my confidence back, it took a while but I did it.  And might I add at the time my children thought it was the worst thing in the world to not be living with both Mom and Dad, but they adjusted and are healthier for it. 

See, children learn what they live and if I would have kept them in that environment, I fear they would have learned to do what I was living.   And that is NOT OKAY!

Not one person male or female should ever have to live in an unhealthy relationship.  A person who loves you wouldn't call you stupid or demean you any chance they had.  They wouldn't hit you and they wouldn't make you afraid to live life.  They wouldn't control you!   And yes, you can live without them!  Just ask me...i 'll tell you!


If you are being abused please seek help.  Call your local police, tell your doctor, tell a friend.  There is help out there...no one deserves to be abused!

        

Internet Defamation - Harassment
 
 

Have you ever been ridiculed and had accusations made against you through anonymous posters (these people are referred to as "flamers" )?  Defamation, slander, libel "e-libel" are very hard to prove.  Most flamers  on the internet hide behind anonymity, set up false email accounts, use public computers, etc. to continue on their quest of trying to destroy a person they just don't like. 

Most "flamers " like to hide behind the First Amendment .  Now, I am a huge supporter of freedom of speech, but do it with class.   I tend to think some "flamers " have some type of personality disorder, especially the ones who can't stop.  What type of satisfaction can anyone get out of trying to destroy another persons life.  Pretty scary when you think about that one!
 

If you click on this link  it will take you to a website that will give you some really good tips on dealing with "Internet Defamation". This makes for some very good reading! The website also provides services in locating those "nasty anonymous posters" as well. After reviewing the video, go ahead, check out the website of Rexxfield , very interesting indeed! 


The above opinions about "flamers" are my own personal opinions that I have formed from the personal experience of being "flamed" many times myself.

        

This story is absolutely amazing!  I stumbled upon this through a CNN story.  My heart filled with joy for this mother, that brought her premature son back to life 2 hours after he was declared dead by her doctors! 

The below story was retreived through KTLA5 News at KTLA.Com

Baby Declared Dead Brought Back To Life By Mother's Touch

Baby Jamie Ogg was delivered nearly three months early showing no signs of life at a hospital in Sydney.

SYDNEY, Australia -- A pre-mature baby declared dead by doctors miraculously began breathing hours later while being held in the mother's arms.

Baby Jamie Ogg was delivered nearly three months early showing no signs of life at a hospital in Sydney.

After 20 minutes of trying to revive Jamie, doctors said he was dead.

Jamie was handed over to the mother, Kate Ogg, who placed him on her chest so that her husband David and she could say their final goodbyes.

After two hours of being hugged and spoken to by the parents, baby Jamie began to gasp for air.

Doctors originally dismissed the gasp as a "reflex" but Jamie eventually opened his eyes and started moving his head side to side.

It is thought that the warmth of Mrs. Ogg's body acted like an incubator to keep the baby warm and stimulated

 

        

        

Can you say "Holy Drug Bust Batman"

Unbelievable...Unconceivable...looks like these drugs are going no where thanks to the Sacremento County Sherrifs Office....and those "wanna be's" probably thought they were "Unbeatable"  Think again...break the law and you will pay! 

Good Job to all those involved!


 


Click Here For Story

        

So seriously...this is what drugs do to you...not only do they make you steal and do things you probably would never dream of doing if you were sober, they make you do very stupid things. 

For instance, take this lady in South Windsor Connecicut who went to the bank to make a deposit through the drive through...of COCAINE...what was she hoping the interest would produce more so she didn't have to buy any! 

You can read the story that was linked through CNN  below or you can click here and this will take you directly to the story brought to you by News8 wtnh.com

There is a saying...."You can't fix stupid!"

Good job to all those involved! 

        

I knew that there would be retribution after getting up and talking about my concerns regarding a certain member of the Charter Review Committee, but I didn't care.  I knew there would be name calling and I knew that he would be mad, still I didn't care.

For those of you who do not know what I am speaking of, let me explain.

On Monday, August 9, 2010 I went to a town council meeting.  At citizens forum I got up to speak about some concerns I had, one of those concerns being about one of the members. I believe my concerns are valid, I asked how he could make any type of unbiased decisions on the recommended changes  that are being made to the Southbridge Home Rule Charter when all he does is "BASH" certain members of the Town Council and ask our Town Manager, Chris Clark to resign.  When things such as the above mentioned are done, well it can give someone an impression that they do not like the individuals.

Now, this person does have the right to say whatever he wants, (well, almost say what ever he wants because there are certain things you can not say without getting into trouble) after all this is America and he does have his right to "Freedom of Speech"

Now, because I (and a friend) got up to speak about this in public, at Citizens Forum to our Town Council, we are being chastised for it.  This is ok though, I wouldn't have expected any less.  Am I responding to such a negative reaction, especially after I posted about a month ago I would no longer let the negative "forces" affect me?  You could say that I am due to this post. 

I will however let you know why I am reacting, and that is because I feel people need to know what is going on.  To see this type of behavior from those who serve on our Charter Review Committee to me is unacceptable.  It is said to be unacceptable for our Town Council Members to behave this way, well what makes it any different from our APPOINTED MEMBERS to behave this way?  After all, they are serving on a PUBLIC BODY too.

        

Okay...so tonight around 7:15 PM my phone rang, I looked at the number and it said "Columbus Georgia".  I thought it was the hotel regarding our reservations for when we go to visit my son Jordan, well to my surprise it wasn't the hotel but my son Jordan!  This is the first time I have talked to him since he left for Boot Camp june 8th! 

The Drill Sergeant said he had to "Boost Morale" because there is a lot of stuff happening....so he ordered Jordan's Unit to go to a Concert!  Jordan was pysched...well at the concert there was this Verizon Wirelss  Booth there and Jordan asked if he could use one of their phones to call family...and they let him...i was so happy to hear from him!  I miss him so much....and I am so proud of him for what he is doing!

Well, I got a text from Jordan's girlfriend and it was a picture...and there he was, my son Jordan with his Unit and the people from Verizon Wireless who let them make their calls!

Thank you so much to all of you at that Verizon Wireless Booth!  You made a mother very happy...not to mention his sisters and brothers too!

The picture is below...Jordan is the very tall one on the right facing the screen with another soldier in an orange vest behind him!

        

Thanks to the good work of Officer Berry this Crack is not hitting the streets!  When will these people learn....you will get caught!  It is just a matter of time...oh, and mistakes that people like the one in the below story make! 

Good job Officer Berry...keep this JUNK off our streets!

The below story I obtained from the Worcester Telegram & Gazette .  You can read this story also by clicking here  along with other news of the day!

Police say man had crack cocaine for sale

SOUTHBRIDGE —  A 27-year-old Dudley man who allegedly had crack cocaine and $3,135 cash, the latter of which he tried to hand to a relative from the back of a police cruiser, pleaded not guilty to drug charges yesterday.

Paul H. Cucuta, 26 Chase Ave., Apt. 3R, was charged with possession to distribute crack cocaine, committing a drug violation near a school (Trinity Catholic Academy), driving with a suspended license and failing to stop.

Mr. Cucuta was held on $500 bail; his pretrial hearing in Dudley District Court is Sept. 16.

According to a police report, about 3:30 p.m. Monday Mr. Cucuta was driving a black 2011 Ford Taurus on Pine Street. He did not come to a stop before he turned right onto Hamilton Street.

Officer Alexander Berry stopped Mr. Cucuta and a dispatcher told him of Mr. Cucuta’s license status.

The officer ordered Mr. Cucuta out the car and handcuffed him, the report said.

Before his car was towed, a female who later identified herself as Mr. Cucuta’s daughter walked up to Officer Berry’s cruiser, and Mr. Cucuta tried to hand her a large quantity of cash, police said.

Sgt. Jose A. Dingui, who had arrived for backup, took the cash.

Police said they found a bag of crack cocaine on Mr. Cucuta when he removed his left shoe at the Police Department. The bag contained smaller individual bags of the drug and was tied in a knot. Mr. Cucuta allegedly admitted the substance was crack cocaine.

The money was in separate bill bundles of $1, $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100, police said.

        

For those of you who are not familiar with the New Open Meeting Law procedures, I have provided a link  that may help guide you through the process.  You can also be directed to the Attorney Generals Office website by clicking here.

According to the new open Meeting Laws anything being filed as of July 1, 2010 "must be filed with the public body that is alleged to have committed the violation" (see below)

"Pursuant to G.L. c. 30A, §23, the Open Meeting Law requires that, prior to filing a complaint with the Attorney General, complaints must first be filed with the public body that is alleged to have committed the violation."

The complaint must be filed within thirty days of the alleged violation. 

After the alleged violation has been investigated and a report has come back, and if this is not to your satisfaction this is when you file the complaint with the Attorney Generals Office (see below)

"If you are not satisfied with the action taken by the public body in response to your complaint, you may file a copy of your complaint with the Attorney General 30 days after filing your complaint with the public body. The complaint must include this form and any documents relevant to the alleged violation."

Here is a link  that you can follow which will take you to the Complaint Form for the Open Meeting Law.